This morning, I was doing some potting in the back yard and noticed that the oleander bush on the hillside was huge and had encroached on our small peach tree, which is close to it. So I decided to prune the oleander back a little.
I was working away, and my husband was keeping me company, "working" alongside me. Too late, I realized that he had removed several fruit-bearing branches from the peach tree. Happily, he didn't hurt himself; however, there will be very few peaches this year. (They are extremely juicy, sweet, and delicious peaches. This will be a privation difficult to bear.)
In the scheme of things, this is not a big deal; however, it's just one of a long string of daily occurrences that are a constant reminder to me that so much has been lost. Our life is a dim reflection of what it used to be. Our relationship roles have changed dramatically. Where, in true partnership, I once bore responsibility for some things and he for others, the onus is now all on me for every decision.
Seven years from diagnosis down the road, the weight of it all is sometimes difficult to bear. And there's a long way to go.