The Chair Massage

Sundowning is challenging, and especially so given the new location, the strangers all around, and the general hubbub of the place where my husband is now. It would be a tough adjustment for anyone, even those of us who are well. I was wondering what I could do to help him cope. Having had a massage that morning, I decided to try giving him one. Massages are fabulously relaxing and a great way to let go of nervous energy. Everyone should be treated to them as often as possible, and especially so under my husband's tension-inducing circumstances.

He was sitting in a chair in the dining area, and I was standing behind him, giving him a back/shoulder/neck rub. He was slouching over a bit, so I have my free arm around him to support him. I suppose it looked like I was hugging him from behind while rubbing his shoulders. One of the elderly female residents ambled over with her walker, curious about these goings on.

"Is that your husband?!" she asked somewhat accusingly through squinted, flinty eyes. Clearly, she thought something untoward was going on here, and she was having none of it.

"Yes, he is," I responded calmly, giving her one of my very best and most sincere smiles. It required some effort to not smile in a laughing sort of way.

"Oh, okay," she muttered, defeated, turning around and going on her way. (It's all right. I'm sure she won't remember the conversation.) I chuckled to myself.

My husband may be a piece of work for the caregivers, but apparently he's a hit with the ladies already. Perhaps this is so because he can still stand up and move his feet, unlike so many of the residents. Three individual members of the staff have shown me videos and photos of him dancing with a variety of them. Or perhaps the more things change, the more they stay the same. He's a rakish charmer, that one.