There hasn't been much but sadness in my blog in the lead-up to and wake of my husband's passing, and understandably so. My heart is often heavy, my eyes well with tears, I stare at the digital display of pictures of him, of us together, that's always going. So when something good and uplifting happens, it's important to share that, too, along with less-happy moments. Here's why I woke up with a big smile on my face the other day.
I dreamed about my husband, but it wasn't one of the stress- or grief-laden dreams I've been having at all; it was a good dream. A great dream, even. It was a dream of normal things during ordinary times, when we were in our prime.
He had come home from work looking excited and happy, a twinkle in his eye as he approached the desk where I was editing a news article submitted by one of his friends. With a somewhat shy little grin on his much-too-handsome face, he handed me a letter to read. It was a very long letter, on professional stationery, from his boss. As I began reading, my beloved was virtually bursting with pride, anticipating my reaction.
In the letter, he was being heartily congratulated on the quality of his work, his leadership abilities, his contribution to the team that was so fond of him and respected him and his ethic so highly. His potential was being recognized, and he was being promoted and receiving an increase in salary (always a good thing). And then there was a bit about how it was hoped that he would enjoy his new sedan.
"What new sedan? They gave you a car?" I couldn't believe it. This was superb news, indeed!
"Well, it's actually a car bonus," he replied modestly. He was so happy and proud. His beautiful, vibrant, blue eyes were filled with excitement, with a hint of hesitation and doubt, as they had a tendency to be. It was as if he couldn't believe his great good luck. I knew he richly deserved this promotion and all that came with it.
So I asked him what car he was thinking of purchasing, and he replied that he wanted a Ford. A Ford Thunderbird SC. Convertible. Those of you who know all about cars are probably looking up that make and model right now. Sure enough, we were in our prime when the last one was made.
As my mind is wont to do, it immediately started calculating the payment; which, for dream purposes, was $450 a month. Go ahead and laugh now. Yes, indeed, this was excellent news. Well, there was a tiny bit of doubt about the tax consequences, but not a word escaped my lips that wasn't full of pride and congratulation on his achievement. I was simply thrilled for him. Apparently, in my dreams, I have learned something valuable about thinking before speaking.
Friends, what a richly symbolic dream! My husband has received the Ultimate Promotion. He who began a good work in him has been faithful to complete it and greeted him with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." In the presence of the Lord, my beloved is more alive than he has ever been. This is my confidence, my joy, my happiness, and my comfort on this beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon in our little town by the water, where we raised our family and hoped to grow old together. It is well with my soul.
