You're My Friend

Yesterday, we joined another couple at a local coffee place, as has become our habit for social interaction and mutual support. You see, she's just been told that her husband is in Stage 6+ (out of 7 stages). He has frontotemporal dementia. She is a lovely person, so dedicated to making sure her husband is getting the best possible care and taking every opportunity to spend time with friends. He is such a nice guy, friendly and conversational until relatively recently. He still speaks with difficulty, but even his wife has trouble knowing what he's saying. Lately, he has seemed a little morose and detached.

Usually, my husband grumbles when we sit down at our table, turning his back to our friends irritably and nonsensically greeting everyone else who comes in, making unintelligible teasing comments and asking questions the meaning of which only he can be sure of. It seems rude and encroaches on everybody else's space, but the regulars at the coffee shop are so cool with it. Kind and understanding. Well, usually.

So yesterday, fresh from a trip to an animated film with another friend, my dear husband was in an unusual, happy mood as we sat at our table. My friend's husband was in a very confused, nervous, wandering mood. Not his usual scenario at all.

He wandered in and out of the coffee shop several times to check out something he thought was happening with their car (nothing was happening). Totally out of current character, my husband was concerned for him, following him to help him and bring him back to our table. This in itself was astonishing. Both men sat down opposite us ladies.

Suddenly, my husband turned to my friend's husband and said, "You're my friend." Receiving no acknowledgement other than a confused nod, he added, "You are! You're my friend. I like you. You can help me, and I can help you."

We ladies caught our breath and looked at each other in surprise. Our jaws drop to the floor. And then we quickly looked away, lest the tears flow freely. What a beautiful moment. For a moment.