The Home Helper

Since January, we've had a home helper come in for a couple of hours, two days a week. It's been quite an experience!

The first young lady was touted as being very experienced with Alzheimer's patients. However, this was a bit of a stretch in terms of handling unfiltered behaviors or keeping my husband engaged. And her lack of initiative was startling. She stayed for a month, then passed the baton back to the home office. She felt a man would be a better fit, and I agreed; however, the agency indicated it would be a bit difficult to find a man for the job.

But, lo and behold, they found one. He was also, miraculously, advertised as being very experienced with Alzheimer's patients. I was told his relative had Alzheimer's, and this young man was sharing the caregiving with other family members. But in casual conversation I discovered that while this relative was infirm, there was only a suspicion of possible dementia. I would not call that "experienced with Alzheimer's patients." Would you?

Anyway, my husband and this young man got along very well, but he was habitually late and then started skipping shifts regularly. Often, I would find him working a jigsaw puzzle alone while my husband was wandering around the house aimlessly. The young man ended up getting a permanent job elsewhere, and I hope he is doing well there. Frankly, at this point, I had pretty much decided that the situations with the home helpers was causing me even more stress instead of relieving some of it.

Which brings us to our current person, who is a very good egg and puts up with my husband's idiosyncrasies without batting an eye. She spent the first couple of months getting acquainted with my husband. She familiarized herself with his interests or lack thereof. She tried a variety of activities with him to determine his abilities. In short, she took the bull by the horns. She's been coming over long enough that I can trust her with my husband, and she takes him with her to "run errands" so I can get an occasional walk in. Huzzah! Unfortunately, she's experiencing some health issues of her own. I hope those are resolved quickly so we don't lose her.

At first, communication with the agency itself was an adventure, with lots of apologies about shortcomings (such as, for instance, failure to let me know the home helper had called in sick) and very little done to rectify them. But they've undergone a personnel upheaval from management down, and now things are much better, at least for the time being. Just in the nick of time, too, as I would have switched agencies if I didn't get along so well with the home helper.

All of that to say, at some point you might need a little help with your loved one. If the first person isn't working out, try, try again. Eventually, you'll find the right fit for you and for your loved one. And that's a very good thing.