The Assessment

Back in October, I requested an assessment from a different hospice company. I was thinking about switching for a variety of reasons. I didn't end up doing that, because his current hospice company nurse started talking about discharging ("graduating") him from hospice at the end of his term. He apparently wasn't "going downhill fast enough" to stay on hospice, or so she said. Yes, I know. Isn't that a fine way to put things to a person's spouse?

Anyway, I was standing in the living room, chatting with the assessing company's nurse and case manager when someone came up behind me and bumped into me, as if on purpose to get my attention. Of course, I figured it was one of the residents, so I turned around with a half-smile on my face, prepared to be pleasant. I know. Most people don't have to "prepare" to be pleasant. Bear with me.

It wasn't just some other resident, though. It was my man, and he me to notice him. He stood very close to me, looked deep into my eyes, flirted with me, held me, kissed me. He was present in the moment, and I wasn't going to miss that! He was, in his own way, asking me to spend time with him. It was like he was asking for a date, and I sure wasn't going to say no. He knew me, and he liked me, and he wanted to be with me. Oh!

So, ignoring the hospice folks, I allowed him to pull me away, dance with me slowly to the music that was playing, and then walk with me, hand in hand, across the room. Tears of joy were leaking out of my eyes, and the case manager handed me some Kleenex. She was crying, too, and so was every other cognizant person in the place.

It was a beautiful moment, one of those gifts I talk about every once in a while. But it was months ago. Months of being told he's about to graduate, only to have him still be on hospice. It isn't as though he's getting better! This week, again, I was informed that his discharge was imminent and to prepare to transfer him back to home health ("home health" does not mean "at home" in this case. It means a nurse visits him in the care facility). I took the bull by the horns, contacted the VA, completed the home health evaluation, arranged for a hospital bed (because the bed he's in belongs to the hospice company), and had all my ducks in a row.

Yesterday, I got a call from the hospice nurse. They've decided he still qualifies, after all, and will review his case again in two months. And so it goes.