Mysterious Disappearance

Sometimes, your loved one's belongings disappear in the facility. The staff blames this phenomenon on the "shoppers," dementia patients who roam the premises stealthily, looking for items to take back to their rooms and squirrel away. Do these items remind them, perhaps, of something they used to own? Or are they plain-old kleptomaniacs looking for loot? Who knows? Either way, your loved one's things might wander off, and they certainly won't do so on their own.

One of the things you must do, of course, is clearly label all of your loved one's clothing and every single personal item so belongings can be easily identified and returned. In the beginning, I used lovely little laundry tags, discreetly affixed. As time has gone on, I've started doing what everyone else seems to do, and which I once found horrid:  LOVED ONE'S NAME in LARGE letters using PERMANENT MARKER directly on the fabric. Even then, it washes out in the laundry and must be redone on occasion, assuming you can find the item, so carry your laundry marker with you when you visit. The detergent used is heavy duty. It has to be in order to disinfect soiled items. You might not recognize things, yourself, after they've gone through the laundry.

(PRO HINT:  Navy blue sweats become a lovely shade of rust. My husband now owns four or five terribly attractive pairs of rust-colored pants.)

And speaking of laundry, it's interesting that even clearly labeled items can often end up in limbo, never to be seen again. For instance, all of my husband's towels and washcloths have vanished into thin air. They are not in the laundry room. They are not in the closets or dressers or under the mattresses of others. They are just gone without a trace. Poof. That happens. I'll replace them, naturally, and this time I'll mark them up with even BIGGER letters. I hope that'll do the trick.

All of that to say this:  If there's any real value to an item, monetary or sentimental, it's probably best to leave it at home. But if it provides comfort to your loved one -- perhaps a favorite stuffed animal or blanket or shirt -- remember the shoppers. If your loved one adores an item, so will at least one of the shoppers. Label everything with large letters that can be easily seen by the caregivers and laundry workers; because, though they certainly do their best, they can't be expected to remember what belongs to which resident.