Pins and Needles, Part 4

Weigh-in happens the first week of every month, as I'm sure I've mentioned before. And here we are in a new month already. How can the year already be half over? Time seems to fly whether or not you're having fun.

When I entered the facility today after lunch, I couldn't help noticing the weigh-in chair. That's because it was in the middle of the open area. Surmising that it had been used and had not yet been put away, I asked a caregiver if my husband had been weighed. She checked his chart for me efficiently.

"Oh, yes," she said brightly as her finger found the correct line, "We weighed everyone this morning after breakfast. Let's see...172 pounds. 10 pounds more than last month!"

Giving her the most pleasant sideways look I could muster, I opined, "There's no way that guy has gained 10 pounds, and certainly not in one month." Neither did he seem to have lost a lot of weight to me, but it's hard to tell when you see a person all the time.

"Would you like him re-weighed?" she offered helpfully.

"Well, yes, actually. I would," I responded with what I hope was a grateful smile.

Let me explain about this weigh-in chair:  The average resident is seated in the chair, places his or her arms on the arm rests, then his or her feet are placed on the foot rest. The person sits still while the caregiver balances the scales. But my husband is not the average resident, I suppose. He squirms and moves about and leans forward and places his feet on the floor and tries to stand up while someone tries to hold him down, all at the same time. I understand why it's difficult to weigh him accurately.

After a bit of cajoling and bribery, and with the help of two caregivers, we finally managed to get him into the chair. Miracle of miracles, he actually sat back properly, with his feet up on the foot rest. His arms were calmly placed on the arm rests. What a moment! I dashed around to the back of the chair and helped the caregiver balance the scale quickly, before he could move. 154 pounds. This was in the middle of the afternoon, after lunch, having just completed a 12-ounce chocolate shake I'd brought from In-N-Out Burger, and needing a "change."

So, dear readers, he has not gained weight but has perhaps lost a few pounds. I say "perhaps" because there's really no way to know if his previous weigh-ins have been accurate. There's a huge difference between 172 pounds and 154 pounds. Wouldn't you agree?