Baby, Baby

March 2, 2019


You were sleeping when I came to see you today. I waited. And waited. It was a sleepy kind of day, and you weren't the only resident snoozing. Finally, after an hour and a half, you opened your eyes and sat up. You didn't seem inclined to get up and out of bed, so I quickly put your headphones on and started the music before you could lie down again.

I sat next to you and waited and smiled and nodded my head to the beat. You finally started to do the same. I stood up in front of you, offering you my hands to help you get to your feet, but you resisted. So we went through the process again and again until, finally, success!

You stared past me as we walked, hand in hand, all over the facility to the different tunes on your iPod. You were mostly expressionless, with an occasional sort-of-smile. Not the one you use when you are in a good mood and having fun. The other one. The one that's a half-hearted or confused return of someone else's encouraging smile. The one that's an obligation, an automatic reaction, rather than a pleasure. That's okay. I know you aren't always going to recognize me or be thrilled to see me. I guess you are more familiar with the caregivers than with me now. After all, they are there all the time. I'm not.

You didn't say anything for hours. Nothing at all. Until Rod Stewart's "Baby Jane" was playing. You lit up, looked over at me, scrunched up your face, and sang, "Baby, baby, baby, baby..." And that was all it took to warm my heart today. I've always been a "low-maintenance" kind of girl, eh?

You kept wanting to sit down. Sometimes you headed for a couch or chair in the common area, and sometimes you headed to your room to sit on your bed. You seemed tired. I guess it was a tired kind of day. I was tired, too. Pretty soon, you got up from the couch where we were sitting and just walked away. I waited. You came back by and walked right past me without noticing that I was there at all.

I gathered my things and stepped in front of you, smiling, to give you a kiss goodbye. You stopped and looked at me, but you didn't see me. I kissed you, but you were somewhere else. That's how it is sometimes, and so it goes.